A wedding proposal is one of those massive life events that is something many people experience but sometimes it can come from a mindset that is not 100% consolidated. Getting ready for marriage is not just about putting a ring on a finger, but it’s about ensuring that you are ready for the ups, downs, and in-betweens. Here are some of the most important ways to ensure that you are ready in your mindset.
Embrace the Idea of Unity
While it’s undoubtedly exciting hunting for engagement rings, it’s so important to shift from an “I” mindset to a “we” mindset. A marriage is a partnership and therefore while there can be disagreements one of the biggest reasons marriages fail is because of a lack of communication. There could be times when one side of the equation does not feel able to put their point of view across and this is why it’s so important to remember that there are two people in an equation and therefore there has to be give and take. You should focus on building a partnership as much as a marriage.
Prioritize Emotional Safety
The foundation of an amazing marriage is trust and this is why in the modern age it is so important to be aware of emotional safety and recognize how important it is. One of the biggest mistakes people make when they go into a marriage is being blindsided by all the good stuff. So many people have that honeymoon mindset and think that it will endure automatically, but the foundations of trust and intimacy are emotional safety. If somebody does not feel secure in a partnership for whatever reason, it is so important to work on these things.
Learn From Others
Relationships are all about dynamics and it’s not necessarily about the 50/50 split and thinking that everything is going to be perfect but it’s about understanding that there will be loads of lessons to learn. Look at those people who have gone through tough times in their marriage, even those who have committed adultery or had affairs. So many of them have bounced back because they’ve invested in time and effort.
Look at those people in your life who have set the example of an amazing relationship. It could be parents or even celebrities. However, it’s important to recognize that when we look at celebrity relationships, we’re not getting the complete picture. For example, they may have the finances to invest in counseling and have the time to work on things and this is why understanding that a relationship is about giving, taking, and applying these lessons to marriage is vital.
Invest in Personal Growth
There are two different mindsets in most marriages. There is the “I” and there is the “we.” There has to be a healthy balance of the two in order for any relationship to thrive because many people can give so much of themselves over to a relationship in the hopes of making it work but we also need to recognize the importance of enhancing ourselves.
When the air mask comes down in an airplane we know that we’re supposed to put hours on first before we help others. This very simple metaphor is one of the most important lessons in ensuring that you have a proper understanding of what a relationship should and should not be like. So many people are focused on the idea of marriage that they don’t think about what the day-to-day existence consists of. When we define our vision of what married life is and more importantly discuss this with our partner, we can align expectations and create a shared vision of our futures together.
Be Open
Sometimes we need to remember that decisions are about a mutual agreement but there can be times when this doesn’t happen for whatever reason. Being open and discussing priorities and making decisions together before you pop the question will give you a much better understanding of how you can build a strong foundation. There are so many people who get married for the wrong reasons and then find that later on they don’t have aligned priorities or values and it’s because they haven’t communicated themselves openly.
If you want to prepare your mindset for marriage, it is about ensuring that you incorporate a number of strategies and ideas into what you want for you and your partner but you should always recognize that marriage is about unity and equality. We hear so much about terms like emotional abuse and gaslighting these days that if we’re experiencing things like that in a marriage because we feel we’ve committed to it we need to see through. This is why we need to ensure that our mindset is ready for marriage because once we have understood our concrete values and reasons only then do we progress with the right partner.
